Japan Luxury Vacation Review: Nara, Tokyo, Kyoto, Hakone, 20-Day Trip

These are some of our impressions:

Tokyo's subways – quiet, very clean, no graffiti, and with seats upholstered in plush, cushioned fabric that is pristine. Tokyo is jammed and busy like New York, but there is no trash anywhere, everybody waits at the don't walk signs, and there truly is never a sound of a horn honking. We literally heard only one horn in our three weeks – probably someone not from Japan.

Consideration for others is engrained and evident in many ways. There are sometimes special tracks and rails on busy stairways for the "elderly”. Virtually every sidewalk in developed areas has a yellow, rubberized track with braille-like markings for the blind (of which we didn't see many).

One is constantly surrounded by people who are polite, kind, and helpful – ask someone for help and they immediately stop what they are doing and focus on helping you, even if it requires them to walk 50 feet with you. In one of the busy train stations, I showed a businessman our ticket and he walked us to our platform, which was a tangled way. I'm sure we must be viewed as outsiders, but it is a high-trust society and that gets extended to us.

In Nara, we needed $1000 in cash one day and didn't have our bank cards with us. Our guide, whom we had known for all of a day at that point, immediately offered to take it out of her account. She did this, handing us cash, even though we wouldn't see her again to repay her until two days later! We were flabbergasted.

On a nine-hour bike tour through Kyoto (which was wonderful and exciting, and our fabulous guide was a great and fascinating experience in himself), our small, guided group repeatedly left our very new, unlocked electric bicycles in very public places, far out of our sight, without our guide having any concern that they wouldn't be there when we got back. People trust each other and it seems to be a society that takes social and moral obligations very seriously.

There are many, many beautiful and very un-Western sights and places to visit. The country is filled with spirit. People stop and make obeisance at small shrines everywhere.

There is a commonplace elegance and refinement that pervades everything. I thought that even the way utility pipes are arranged to enter a building shows an aesthetic concern and awareness.

The history, culture, philosophy, art, museums, architecture, temples, shrines, gardens, and the minor practices of everyday life are wonderful to engage with. For example, food is served with a hot towel to begin the meal, but without napkins of any kind; we liked learning to eat comfortably and efficiently with chopsticks; all the seats in taxi cabs are covered with bright-white doily-patterned coverings that must get laundered and changed frequently; some of the hotels ask you to wear only slippers or stockinged feet in your room; at some hotels and elsewhere, there are unisex public baths, but only the men go to them (if they choose). Just walking down the street is a fascinating adventure.

Coming back late from Fushimi Inari Shrine in Kyoto one night, our taxi driver didn't know how to find our hotel, even with the address written in Japanese. He spoke zero English. He was an older gentleman with beautiful white hair and beard. One of us got out Google Maps and Google Translate on our phone and held the map up to him while we drove. The driver called our hotel and had a very long conversation with them while driving. We got there and had a good time doing it.

The ryokan in Hakone was a revelation of what a hotel could be. We loved the onsen and the setting was so beautiful and restful. It and the hotel in Kyoto were our favorites, but we also enjoyed the hotels in Tokyo, Kanazawa, and Takayama (with washer-dryers in the rooms!). The lodge in Takayama was, of course, less elegant and luxurious than the others, but it was very comfortable and the washer-dryer came at the perfect time in the trip (took a little while to figure out how to use it).

We saw so much and I have not really started to go through my photographs yet. Every garden was superlative, but the Kokedera Moss Temple’s garden was probably the most beautiful and stirring outdoor space I have ever been in. I am so glad our travel agent got us tickets to be there, and I now know the tickets are difficult to get.

Other highlights were the great buddhas at Tōdai-ji Temple, the beautifully dressed children and proud families on boys' and girls' day excursions, and the beautiful tea ceremony we experienced, performed as a spiritual ritual rather than a display.

My favorite historical tidbit was at the Nomura-ke family residence, where there was a very formal thank-you note written in beautiful calligraphy on beautiful paper from a Nomura daimyo to one of his vassals, thanking him for bringing him the head of a high-ranking enemy warrior. And this daimyo lived in a home with one of the most exquisite gardens I have ever seen.

The food is very different from ours, with mostly unknown vegetables in various manners of preparation and rice and fish at every meal, including breakfast. We learned to love it and one of us was especially adventurous. We all lost weight on the trip despite eating a lot and we are trying to maintain some of the dietary practices now that we are back. The diet makes you feel good, light, and energetic, and not hungry. It is clearly very good for you.

The people's manner and how they conduct themselves with others was fascinating to experience. As I said, one is surrounded by polite and kind people. It is a hierarchical and rule-aware society – apart from things like never crossing against a light, if you ask for an exception to anything, someone higher up always has to be checked with. I am sure the culture has its restrictions, but all in all, it seems a wonderful place and way to live. At the deer park in Nara, even the deer bow to you as they ask for a bit of food.

We read a good deal before we went and I am continuing to read now. Pico Iyer is excellent and inspiring. His book, A Beginner's Guide to Japan, is an interesting and entertaining place to start. I am reading more in A History of Japan by Richard Mason and JG Caiger, one of the books our agent sent us. It is excellent, and having been in Japan, I can see how precise and informative it is about important things without ever getting bogged down in too much detail. It is really worth spending time with, but I think it made even more sense to me after the trip when I could see how right and nuanced the authors are about many things. Also, this history makes it clear that James Clavell's novels Shogun and Gai-Jin, even with some elements fictionalized, contain enormous amounts of accurate historical and cultural information that can add greatly to one's understanding and to the enjoyment of a trip.

There were some minor problems I think you would want to know about:

One of our names wasn't on the reservations for the hotel in Tokyo or for the hotel in Kyoto, which created some anxiety and difficulties. Our tour operator solved the problem with several phone calls, but they weren't going to let one of us in! Also, some of the places on our itinerary were closed on the days we were scheduled to go there. Our travel agency worked around these with skill, but we did miss one or two places.

Finally, none of us loved the hotel in the Mount Fuji region, though it did have beautiful views, was well-located, and had an excellent breakfast. I think the problem was mostly the attitude of the desk staff, who were much less helpful than in other places, and the two restaurants in the hotel were fully booked for the nights we were there. There was no place else to eat within miles of the hotel. The food situation worked out well though. We took a cab into the town and the kind driver, who spoke very little English, took us to an Italian restaurant where we had a great meal and an excellent time (and wine). And the restaurant easily got us a taxi back. The views of Mount Fuji were wonderful. Our driver in the area was wonderful. He spoke very little English, but took us to wonderful views and places, and was very kind and attentive.

This was a fabulous trip and we are very grateful to our tour operator and our guides for all they did to make it work so well! There are so many more wonderful experiences I could tell you about – meals at authentic noodle places, the incredibly elegant meals at the ryokan, shopping at night in Tokyo, the taxi driver, a former professional musician who expertly serenaded us with his flute at the end of our ride, the 1200-year-old ginkgo tree at a shrine. Each garden deserves its own mention and description.

We went shopping on our last day in Hakone and had major trouble getting a cab back in time for our ride to the airport in Tokyo. We were helped by a teenager in a 7-Eleven who spoke no English, but understood the word "taxi". She dropped what she was doing and spent 15 minutes with another woman on the phone, finding us a cab back to the ryokan in time for our departure.

Then there was the elderly couple with a beautiful manner and faces at an antique store in Hakone who helped us pack two antique hibachis to survive luggage handling on the flight back. And our waitress at the ryokan who came to say goodbye to us. There were so many wonderful moments and experiences that I could go on for many more pages. It was just a fabulous trip.